I Get Stabby
by Vesvius
Summary: After a discussion with Spiderman, Deadpool gets the motivation to actually do something. The Result: Uzumaki Naruto, imposing his will on the marvel universe, one hero or villain at a time.
1. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

A/N: It's been a while, eh people? Sorry to dissapoint, but this isn't a new chapter of any of my long abandoned/on hiatus stories. But it is something almost as good: a new one. This is a Marvel Univers/Naruto Crossover, featuring copious amounts of Deadpool. I hope you all enjoy.

NOTE: If you don't know who any of the characters are, I'll be posting an appendix later. If you don't want to wait that long, there's a nice Marvel Wiki (or if the character in question is Naruto, he's on wikipedia). It'll teach you quite nicely.

* * *

*Click* "And that was your five day foreca--"

*Click* "That was John Oliver, reporting from Tibet. Thanks J-'

*Click* "Dee-Dee! YOU STUPID GI-"

*Click*" What's the deal with people asking if you're cold? If I was-"

*Click* "Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

With a groan, Wade Wilson put down his remote. He looked around, his eyes finally settling on the phone. "Hm.. strange. Someone usually calls me after five changing the channel five times. Maybe it'll just take one more..." Wade picked the remote back up and pointed it.

*Click*"And now, the number one pick of our viewers, and the sexiest woman alive is-"

"BEA ARTHUR!" Wade screamed. "Sure, I know she's dead now, but her looks transcend things like that!"

"Jessica Alba!" The TV finished.

"SON OF A BITCH!" the mercenary screamed at the top of his lungs. There was a banging on the floor right below him.

"Shut the fuck up, Wilson!" his neighbor yelled. "Some people have work in the morning, and don't spend all night watching TV! You do know what work is, right?! It's what good, honest-" Without taking his eyes off the TV, Wade reached over to the table next to his couch and grabbed one of his many trusty pistols. A shot later and his neighbor's insults were transformed into yelps of pain.

"Shut up!" he yelled back to his bleeding neighbor. "Some people have to watch TV right now, and don't spend all night sleeping! Oh, and next time, I won't hit your foot!"

With the yelps subsiding, Wade leaned back into his couch. "This really is a nice couch." he said to himself. The slightly unstable mercenary cocked his head to the side, listening to one of the voices that only he could hear. "Yes, our last chair was awesome, but it's not my fault we had to detonate it. Those Zombie Supermodels had it coming!" He thought that sentence over for a moment. "Wow, that sounded weird, even for me."

He looked back over at his phone. "Come on! Ring!" Wade yelled. "I'll take anything! I'll do dishes, I'll go to France, anything! Come on! I'm bored!" No sooner had he uttered those words then a giant explosion went off outside his window.

Wade shrugged. "Beggars can't be choosers!"He jumped up, ready to spring into action. Guns in hand he ran towards the door. But he came to a stop with a stereotypical screeching sound as he ran past a mirror. "Aw, Damn!" he yelled as he looked at his deformed face. "I knew I forgot something!" Wade did a complete 180, running for the chest right in front of his bed.

"Time to get wet!" he proclaimed. But he paused again. "Wow, that sounded really, really gay. I guess that's what happens when I get a crappy writer." He shrugged and reached into the chest, producing one of the many black and red masks he had. Moments later, the transformation was complete. Where Wade Wilson, horribly deformed man, had stood, now there was Wade Wilson, horribly deformed man in spandex!

"It's DEADPOOL, MOTHERFUCKER! DEADPOOL!" Wade, no, Deadpool now, palmed his forehead. "I'm sorry I called you a crappy writer! So, please?" Without any further pause, he jumped out the window, racing towards where he'd heard the explosion.

...Only to find Spiderman standing over the body of a prone Electro. "So, Sparky," Spiderman started. "What's your angle? And who're you working with?!"

"Can I help?" Deadpool asked as he came up behind the webbed wonder. "I'm good at interrogating!" He drew a pistol and shot Electro in the foot! "Who're you working with!" he screamed.

Spiderman groaned. "You're supposed to ask him a question, then hurt him!"

"Ahhh. Who're you working with?!" He yelled before shooting him in the other foot.

This time, Spiderman's groan was audible from a mile away. "Let him answer first!"

"Wow. Interrogations are hard."

The look Spiderman sent Deadpool could only be described as disdainful, even from under the mask. "Why don't you let me handle this, Mercey. After all, Electro's one of my baddies. Go deal with one of your own. Like, Doctor Bong, or T-Ray or someone." Laughing at his own joke, Spiderman grabbed the screaming Electro and swung further into the city.

The people who had gathered to watch the scene began to walk away as quickly as they felt was safe as Deadpool began to growl. "He's making fun of my Rouge's Gallery?! I'll teach him to insult Doctor Bong!" He paused. "Well, the Doctor is kinda stupid. And T-Ray's pretty much a one trick pony. And all my other villains are, well, from other books. I mean, Rhino is Spideys, Apocalypse is strictly mutant specific, and I'm not gonna get started on all the people who try to take down Normie Osborn. So.... he's gotta point."

A spectator, braver then the rest, inched over towards Deadpool. "Excuse me, Mr. Deadpool sir? Who're you talking to?"

"I'm setting up the plot. Ignore it, it happens a lot." The bystander nodded and ran to join his running brethren. "I need new villains!" he yelled before pulling out his cell phone. Deadpool looked at it for a moment. "Now who to call..."

He immediately thought of a couple of people. There was Weasel, the closest thing he had to a best friend. Weasel had been through a lot with him, and was usually his go-to guy for anything involving technology. Then there was Agent X, a weird type of clone of Deadpools. It's a long story. He was bit psychopathic, but look at who he was made out of, honestly. Finally, there was the Outlaw, the closest thing he had to a girlfriend, at least for right now. Well, maybe not a girlfriend. More like a hot girl that was a friend who likes to flirt. "Weasel, I get. He's a nerd, and who knows what nerds can do. Agent X, I get. Kinda. I guess he's just for exposition. But why would I be thinking of Outlaw when I'm trying to think of who can help me think of new baddies?" An image of the last time he saw Outlaw popped into his head.

"Oh, yeah. She's got nice boobies. Heh heh." Moving on then...

Deadpool punched in a number and waited while the phone rang. A few moments later, he was greeted by a sleepy "Hello?"

"Weas, good buddy ol pal!"

There was a groggy groan of the other end of the phone. "What do you want Wade?" Deadpool filled him in on his revelation. There was a pause, then Weasel replied "New villain? Completely original? Never before seen in this world?"

"Well, I'll take rarely seen in this world. "

"That's a tough one. Gimme a day, and I'll come up with something."

"Alrighty, buddy! I'll stop by in a day!"

_Exactly 24 hours later_

"Weas, what do ya got for me?"

Weasel jumped what could generously be called a foot. "Holy shit Wade. Don't do that!"

"What? What'd I do?"

Weasel looked at his friend, then up at the ceiling Deadpool had strapped himself to so he could dangle Spiderman style in front of the tech-nerd. He let out a large groan. "Nothing Wade. Nothing at all."

"So, like I said, what've you got?"

Weasel sat down heavily in his chair, gesturing for his unstable friend to take the one across from it. "The supply of Super Villains is kinda low now. I'm not sure what's causing it, but they're all engaged in a minor turf war."

"How minor?" Deadpool asked as he sat down in the indicated chair.

"No deaths yet, but there's been a fair share of emergency room visits." Weasel answered before continuing. "So no villains are really available. That means you can either create some or find some from... unconventional sources."

Deadpool's gloved hand rose and began stroking his chin. "Hmm..." he muttered. "Creating them's out. It always seems to get out that you created your own nemesis, and then people just think you're stupid. I mean, seriously. Would it have killed Spidey to just like his alien goop?" He shook his head, trying to clear it. "Anyway, what'd you mean, ugly ponies?"

Weasel had been around his friend long enough that he could handle his odd thought process without flinching. "I said Unconventional Sources, not Undesirable Horses."

"That's not what I heard!"

"Do you want to know how to get a baddie or not?" Weasel asked, exasperated. Deadpool gestured at him to continue.

"Who's stopping you?"

Another groan suppressed, Weasel continued. "I mean like importing them from the UK, or going to other Dimensions or planets. Actually, the last one would be pretty cool, and it'd raise your publicity. How often do you hear that a superhero stopped an alien menace."

"Every few days."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed, my friend." Deadpool said, nodding sagely. "Oh indeed. But enough indeeds. Or outdeeds come to think of it. Other dimensions? I can dig that. But how'd I get there?"

Weasel sat forward in his chair, eyes glowing with renewed interest brought on by the question. "You mean you really want to do it? I mean, I thought you might, but I wasn't sure, aliens and the British are both really hated right now and-"

The nerd was brought up short by a revolver pointing to his face. "Weas, I don't want to shoot, but I will."

Weasel leaned back into his chair as fast as he'd leaned forward. "Just getting there Wade." Deadpool nodded and lowered the gun. Weasel let loose a sigh of relief and continued. "Anyway, other dimensions have always been a fascination of mine. You can get there by a ton of ways. There's some technological means, some magical ways, and some blind luck. Any specific way you're interested in?"

Deadpool grinned, his smile visible under his mask. "Do you really have to ask?"

"Of course not." came the resigned sounding reply. "I'll get to work on all of em."

It took another twelve hours, but the technomagical luck portal was set up. The technology of the portal had been generously donated by Nathaniel Summers, A.K.A Cable, Deadpool's best friend/Enemy. Well, maybe donated is too misleading a word. Saying that Deadpool liberated it from Cable's island home would probably be more accurate. But it was likely that Cable would have given it to them had he been there at the time. 'Well, just to make us go away.' Deadpool thought.

The magical components had been harder to liberate. After all, Doctor Strange was the only person that the pair knew of that possessed strong enough magical artifacts. But, well, he never left his home except in cases of extreme magical emergency. And since neither Weasel nor a good four sevenths of Deadpool were comfortable setting one of those up, they schemed and plotted for hours on how to make off with one of the good Doctor's devices. In the end, it had all been worthless, as Deadpool was caught before he got two steps inside the inner sanctum.

Luckily the doctor decided to hear him out rather than blasting him on sight. Deadpool managed to get to the point in his explanation where he'd be busy all the time foiling his new adversary before Doctor Strange thrust a glowing box containing magical talismans into his hands and wishing him luck.

'If I remember this later, I should be insulted.' Deadpool thought as he looked at the talismans.

And the luck? Well, nothing was luckier then rabbit's feet, and Deadpool had been able to get some fresh.

Weasel glared at him when he came in with them. "What?" Deadpool asked.

"You killed a rabbit, wait, more than one rabbit, just to get their feet!" Weasel managed to exclaim while still gritting his teeth.

"No I didn't!" Deadpool protested.

"The feet are bleeding on the floor!"

"Hey!" Deadpool yelled back. "I went in there asking, being all diplomatic with them. The little squirrel wannabes wouldn't give me the time of day, so I had to get physical. But I didn't kill anything! I've been being good about that lately!"

Weasel's mouth dropped open slowly. "You... you cut off their feet and left them alive?!"

"Yes." Deadpool said, happy his friend had gotten the point. "Just like a hero would have done in my place."

The retort Weasel had planned died on his tongue. Insane or not, Wade was sure he'd done the right thing. And people whose idea of the right thing conflicted with his, well, they tended to get shot. A lot. Best just to move on.

Between the two of them the portal was set up quickly. The actual portal piece, with all the hardware needed to activate it, was set up in the middle of the room. Doctor Strange's talismans were hung from all parts of the tech, their eerie blue glow standing out against the cold steel of the tech. And the rabbit's feet? Well, Deadpool just tossed them in the portal's general direction and let them fall where they wanted. When Weasel asked why, Wade just shrugged. "They're lucky, right? Then wherever they fall would be the luckiest place."

"That actually kinda makes sense in a weird way."

The two stood back, admiring their handiwork. Deadpool turned to his friend. "Now how do we turn it on?"

Weasel smirked and held up some goggles. "Stand back was all he said." Deadpool put on the offered headgear and stood well back from the portal. Weasel pulled out a remote from his pocket and pointed it at the setup before pressing the button.

*Click*

Nothing. Weasel pushed it again with greater force.

*CLICK*

Still nothing. Weasel turned to Deadpool and shrugged. Deadpool raised his hand in front of Weasel's face before the tech-nerd could say anyhting. "Shh." the Mercenary said. "My common sense is tinglying." He looked around for a moment, as if waiting for inspiration to strike. Apparently it did, because he turned back to Weasel. "Is it plugged in?"

Weasel paused before turning as red as Deadpool's outfit. He ran behind the setup, and there was a clicking noise as he connected the plug to the outlet. Before Deadpool could get impatient, Weasel ran back to his former position and pressed the button again.

*CLick... voom... voom... voooom.... vooom.... BOOOOOOOOOOM*

The portal exploded into light and sound, the light being sucked out of the talismans and merging with the green the portal was now exuding. The light coalesced into a figure. Deadpool gave out a cheer, even as the man fell to his knees. The man let out a primal scream as it seemed like something was ripped from him. He collapsed into a prone heap as the portal began powering down behind him.

Deadpool looked over to his friend. "Was that supposed to happen?"

Weasel walked over to the prone form. "How am I supposed to know? You make it sound like I crack dimensional barriers for kicks all the time. But I don't-" The nerd was cut off as the man sprang to his feet and grabbed Weasel around the neck in one fluid movement.

Rather than being alarmed, Deadpool whistled appreciatively. "Did you see those reflexes Weas? My new arch-nemesis has got some moves!"

In between gasps for air, Weasel managed to grunt out "Yes, Wade. I *COUGH* saw them."

The man gave Weasel a violent shake before spitting out what sounded like a question.

Deadpool cupped one hand around an ear. "Eh? Didn't catch that." The man mimicked the gesture and repeated the same words. Only they sounded heavy, as if his tongue was unfamiliar with the language. The Merc groaned loudly. "Weas, you got me a foreigner! I can't fight foreign people!"

He waited for a response before finally looking over at his friend again. "Can you let him down now?" he asked. "I need him for witty byplay, plus I don't think he's supposed to be blue." Seeing no reply coming, Deadpool grabbed one of his pistols and blasted the man's shoulder with precision accuracy.

Weasel hit the ground hard. After a few gasps to finally take in blessed oxygen he managed to get out "What's wrong with fighting foreign people? You do it all the time!" This time it was Deadpool who wasn't responding to the witty banter, and he didn't have the excuse of being choked. "What's wrong Wad-" Weasel started before noticing his friends eyes hadn't left the shoulder he'd shot. He followed Deadpool's eyes to the shoulder, which had already healed. "Oh."

Deadpool looked as if he was about to burst from joy. "Advanced healing factor? That's just awesome!" He looked up at the ceiling and said "Thank you, oh mighty author, for creating the most suitable villain ever for me!" Deadpool glanced over at Weasel, who was looking at him nonplussed. "Sorry. I let that whole fourth wall thing overwhelm me. Where was I? Oh, yeah, foreigners. I can fight foreign people all I want, as long as I'm in a foreign place. That means they're not making an effort to better themselves." He nodded sanctimoniously as he continued. "But if they're in America, the best most free nation ever on the face of this earth, well, then..."

"You want to give them a cheeseburger and teach them English?"

"Exactly! By the way, why do we speak English anyway? You'd think we'd have made our own language, like we did for hot beverages. We ditch the tea, but keep the lingo? Does that make any-" This time it was Deadpool who was cut off by a knife to his ass that made him jump two feet into the air while giving off the highest-pitch squeal he could.

He turned to face the thrower, or as he liked to call him, his new archenemy, a glare on his face. For a moment anyway. The glare vanished as abruptly as it came as Deadpool saw that the man was struggling to hold in laughter. He lost the struggle and broke down fully into hysterical laughter as he stared at the quivering blade in Deadpool's shoulder.

"Awww. This guy can't be my archenemy!" Deadpool exclaimed, gesturing at the laughing man. "Not only is he foreign, he's... like me!"

Weasel took this as an opportunity to look over the man, which he hadn't gotten a chance to do yet. Blonde. Maybe a bit shorter then Deadpool, making him a good foot taller than Weasel himself. Tan skin, blue eyes, and some weird birthmarks on his cheeks. The technerd looked over at Deadpool. Tall. Musclebound. Decked out in black and red, including a mask that covered a horribly scarred face.

"Just like you? I'm not seeing it." He said.

Deadpool waved Weasel off. "No, not like me at all in how he looks. But he's got the same healing factor, he's got a shitload of knives, and he can use em. Plus, he has the most important characteristic need to be like me."

Weasel looked between the two again. "The ability to stab someone then laugh about it?"

"Exactly!" Deadpool said before he looked the blonde up and down again. "In fact, while he might be a crappy villain, he might make a good sidekick!" Weasel blanched at that, his face turning pale as he remembered Deadpool's last try at a sidekick. Deadpool however was completely oblivious to his friend's response as he started circling the man, who had finally stopped laughing.

"We'll have to teach him English though."

With yet another groan, Weasel began rubbing his forehead as he asked "So who're you going to get to do it? I think Taskmaster might be good at it, or we can give Sandi a call. She's good with languages."

"No need! I'll do it!" Deadpool said.

"What?! Wade, That's really not a good idea!"

Deadpool paid his friend no mind as he began rumaging in one of his belt pouches. "Good thing I remembered my mix tape." He looked over at the blonde, who looked like he had relaxed and was meeting Deadpools look with a bemused one of his own. "Hey!" The merc called. "What should we play for your English-learning-montage?"

The blonde shrugged, either not knowing any music, or not understanding what the hell Deadpool had said. Weasel thought the later far more likely.

"Eye of the Tiger it is!"

As the opening strains of the song began to play, Weasel asked "How long do you think this will take?"

"Not a clue Weas! Should be done by the start of the next chapter though." With that, Deadpool turned his full attention to his new prospective sidekick. He started by pulling the knife out of his butt and holding it in front of the man.

"This is a knife. Can you say knife?"

At the same time the montage started, hundreds of miles away, Stephen Strange stared at another one of his mystical devices. The magic mirror he was consulting had been around for eon, longer the Strange himself. It was a sensor, one which monitored to various collections of dark magic in this reality. Even as the Sorcerer Supreme looked on, a small crack developed.

"This does not bode well..." Strange mused as he stroked his beard. He hadn't gotten through the first stroke though before the mirror exploded into thousands of shards. The breath caught in Strange's throat as he surveyed the ruin that had been his mirror.

"Does not bode well at all."


	2. Expository Dialogue!

A/N: Well, here's chapter two, aptly entitled Expository Dialogue!

One more chapter should wrap up the Introductory Arc and we should be able to get into the meat of the story. I've got a shitload of ideas for that, let me tell you!

Well that's enough buildup to the chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

With a primal scream, Naruto (as he had informed Deadpool he was called as soon as he could speak a few word) jumped on his sworn enemy. He grabbed a kunai out of his belt and brought it down in a flurry of anger. "Die!" he screamed, over and over in both his native tongue and the heavily accented English that Deadpool had taught him. "Die, Die, Die!"

Deadpool looked on from behind him with a bemused look on his masked face. "You know," he said as he surveyed the sparking ruins of his boombox. "You could have just hit the off button."

Naruto didn't answer, and instead plunged his knife back into the device one more time for good measure. He stood up, panting from the exertion. "If I ever hear that song again..."

"Note to self." Deadpool said. "Hide all Rocky DVDs."

Naruto shook his head, attempting to clear the blinding rage from it. So many repetitions... it was like Eye of the Tiger had been playing for days, if not weeks! He dropped back down, just to stab the boombox one more time and spit on it for good measure. Naruto stopped moving and took a few deep breaths to regain his composure.

He paused. Now that he wasn't distracted from suddenly being somewhere else and by that goddamned song, Naruto could finally get a good look around the room. It was... strange. It seemed to be made entirely out of rock, something unheard of outside of Earth Country. Other then the portal he had apparently come through and Deadpool, the room held precious little. As a matter of fact there seemed to be only one other thing of note in the room that wasn't sparking from numerous kunai wounds.

Naruto walked over to the strange device on the wall. It was about four feet across, and maybe two feet tall. It was held to the wall by screws and seemed to have no obvious function. As soon as he thought that, it began emitting light and sound. He tried not to show his shock as he turned to Deadpool, who was holding a small plastic stick covered in buttons. "Like the TV, do ya?" Deadpool asked approvingly. "Good taste, and just in time! Golden Girls comes on in five minutes!"

The ninja ignored the mercenary's statement, something that he'd learned to do rather quickly. "Where am I?" he asked in the strange tongue that Deadpool had driven into his skull.

It seemed like the unstable merc had been waiting for that question. He ran out of the room and came back, dragging what looked like a guitar. He strummed a chord, then shouted. "You're in Wade's World! Wade's World! Party Time! Excellent!"

Naruto stared at him, not comprehending that in the least. "No, I mean what country. Earth? Wind?" Seeing no reply coming, he continued naming major countries. "Fire? Water?"

"Heart! GOOOO PLANET!" Deadpool yelled at the top of his lungs.

Naruto scratched the top of his head. "... What?" Was all he could ask.

"Wade, stop messing with the kid. He wants to know where he is." Weasel said as he walked back into the room. Over the last few weeks, Weasel had been the provider, coming in and bringing the two of them food as Deadpool drilled Naruto in the language nonstop. Plus, he was sane. To Naruto, after dealing with Deadpool for who knows how long, that's a good thing.

"But Weas..." Deadpool whined, sounding exactly like a five year old trying to get something from their dad. "I don't wanna!"

Weasel let out a groan and turned to face Naruto. "Alright, here's the score. You're in an alternate dimension. A kind of universe parallel to your own." Naruto, never the smartest person, looked at Weasel with a complete lack of comprehension on his face. Weasel wasn't surprised. After all, most people had trouble comprehending the multiverse theory. Luckily, he had realized that Deadpool wasn't going to be much held and had prepared accordingly.

It took three charts and about twenty minutes of lecture, but Weasel finally managed to drill exactly where he was into Naruto's head. In all honesty Weasel was surprised it hadn't taken longer. But it appeared that Naruto had a brain underneath all those stabbing urges, it was just rusty from dissuse.

Naruto sat back, letting his brain digest Weasel's speech. Out loud, he mused "So, I'm another reality. If there are any people I know here, they don't know me, and have nothing to do with what I know about them. Maybe Sasuke's a merchant. That'd be just awesome." He sat up straight. "Holy shit! Sasuke! I gotta go back!"

Weasel raised his hands in an attempt to placate the dangerous man. "Um, Naruto? I really don't know how to tell you this, but...we have no idea how to send you back." Before Naruto could say anything, Deadpool slung an arm around his shoulders.

"Besides, why would you want to? We've got the chimichanga, cable TV, and all the porn you could ever want readily available on the computer!" The merc reasoned.

Naruto massaged his temples, trying to formulate a response. He tried for a few moments but was unable to come up with anything not involving stabbing. Weasel could see this, and said "How about you and Wade go see the world, and I'll try to figure out a way to get you home." The ninja didn't see much choice, so shrugged.

Deadpool took that as assent. "Yay! My new buddy sticks around for a little bit longer! And by the time I'm done with you, you'll never want to go back to that boring old world of yours ever again!" He began steering Naruto towards the door as he continued talking. "Hey, how old are you?"

"Um..." Naruto was surprised to realize he actually had to think on that one. "I think I'm seventeen."

"That's plenty old! Let's go get some booze and cards! You ever played drunken poker? It's a good time!" Weasel felt a bit of pity for the blonde as the sheer force of Deadpool's personality overwhelmed him and pushed him out the door. Well, maybe Deadpool's arm did the actual pushing, but the personality was a close second.

"So..." Naruto began as they stepped outside. "What do you..." He trailed off as the sight of New York City filled his eyes for the first time. Deadpool, for once, kept his mouth closed and let Naruto absorb the strangeness that was New York.

To Naruto, the strangeness was not from the size of the city. Konoha seemed just as big as this place if not bigger. But compared to Konoha or even Tanzaku, this place just oozed 'alien.' Maybe the vibe came from the buildings. After all Konoha was made almost entirely out of wood. Only the extremely important buildings like the Hokage tower were made from anything else. But New York was a city made almost entirely out of stone and glass. And was that metal? Yeah, there was definitely a bit of metal in there. And the way the material was arranged was just strange. Konoha's buildings were made of gentle curves, almost all the buildings being rounded, while this place was made of harsh angles.

At least there was one thing familiar about all of this: the merchants. A load of people, all standing on the side of the road trying to sell something. Only instead of various foodstuffs or weapons, they were selling what seemed to be called 'DVDs', plain discs of metal. Well, those and some of the other female merchants seemed to be selling some kind of service. Or at least that's what it seemed like. People would give them money and then be escorted into one of the alleyways, returning moments later with a large smile on their face.

Deadpool raised a hand to recapture Naruto's attention. "Are we done with the exposition for this chapter yet?"At Naruto's uncomprehending look, he sighed. "I mean, you done looking at the city?"

Naruto nodded hastily. He'd heard the labels people gave those new to cities, and had no desire to be a called a bumpkin. "Anyway," He continued. "What's there to do for fun around here?"

"Everyone's got a different taste. But I find there's nothing more relaxing then entering a public place and exiting it in about... say, ten minutes."

"Huh?" was Naruto's response. Seriously what is there to say to that? "Um... why would that be relaxing?"

"Follow me and find out." Deadpool replied as he walked into the nearest pizza joint.

Ten minutes late the two walked out of the building. "Well, Well... look what we've got here." growled a menacing voice.

Naruto looked up from the slice he'd been eating to see perhaps the strangest man he'd ever seen, and he'd seen Orochimaru. The man, or at least Naruto was pretty sure he was a man, was dressed in a large grey suit topped with a Rhino's head. The shinobi turned to his own oddly dressed companion. "Are outfits like this standard around here?"

A shrug was his answer. "Well, most of us wear some pretty odd stuff, but Rhino here really is the tops. But you'll get used to it in time." Deadpool positioned himself to be able to look at both his new buddy and his old enemy at the same time. "You wanted to know what's so fun about going somewhere then leaving it? This. Whenever I go out in public, I end up running into guys like this. I don't know what draws em, but they're good for a workout."

Naruto shrugged. "Maybe it's your outfit that attracts them."

The merc stared at Naruto . "Maybe, but you'd think it'd keep em away more than it would draw em. "

"Wha?" was the response. "Why would it do that?"

"Well if people don't know who I am, all they can really describe is in a bright red spandex outfit. Considering we're in Spiderman's territory most people figure it's him, and they generally want to avoid him. But if they know it's me, they typically want to avoid me more. When I go looking for em, it's usually 'Not the face' and 'I need new underwear', not 'Oh Goody!'".

"I see." Naruto said as he nodded in understanding. "Didn't think of it that way."

"No biggie. It usually takes a while to start, but once you do, there's no way back. The first thing you wa-"

"STOP IGNORING ME!!"

Both of them turned to the fuming Rhino, who was currently sporting a face that was bright red with anger. OH, yeah. We really should be paying attention to the guy dressed up like a Rhino." Naruto stated. "What was it you were saying before?" he asked Deadpool.

"Oh, yeah. It was nothing really important. Just that beating this guy like a redheaded stepchild is always a good time." Deadpool finished.

Rhino let out a menacing chuckle. "Ordinarily, Wilson, you'd be right. But today-" He was cut off by Naruto, who raised his hand before launching into another question.

"Who's Wilson?" He asked.

Deadpool pointed to himself. "That would be me."

"Huh? But I thought your name was Deadpool?"

"It is. I've got two names, one that's cool, and one that's slightly less so, but it's close. A public name and a private name. One for the public, and one for my friends. Most of the various super people work that way."

"Which is which?" Naruto questioned. "I mean, which is public, which is private?"

"Deadpool's my public name, Wade Wilson is my private one. You can call me either or."

"Alright, Wade." Naruto said, testing the name out. Something occurred to him and he asked "Will I get a badass super name?"

"If the author can think of one. If not, well, you're pretty much fu-"

"ANYWAY!" Rhino yelled, dragging their focus back to him. "I usually try to take you on by myself, Wilson. But this time I heard you were hanging out with someone new. So I paid a quick visit to Taskmaster's New York Campus and got me some backup!" Rhino snapped his fingers and a black car came to a screeching halt not two feet away from them. A huge number of people, all bedecked in featureless masks and dark blue jumpsuits, piled out of the car before assuming a fighting stance.

Naruto glanced at his psychotic friend uneasily. "This is relaxing?" he asked.

Deadpool had a smile on his face so large that it was clearly visible, even underneath his mask. "Of course it's relaxing! Well, afterwards anyway. Right now, it's fun! Plain and simple! Real edge of your seat stuff!"

The orange clad ninja nodded slowly. "I guess I can kinda see that. Fighting is fun, and I guess it'd be easier to relax after everything was over..." But Deadpool was no longer listening. Instead, he had managed to find his way right into the middle of all of the hired muscle.

"BITCHSLAPS FOR EVERYONE!" he cried at the top of his lungs. True to his word he spun to the left and delivered a powerful slap to one of the goons. The man went down hard and didn't rise again. "You get a bitchslap!" Another slap, and another unconscious man. "And you get a bitchslap!" Again. Within moments Deadpool was surrounded by limp bodies. "EVERYBODY GETS A BITCHSLAP!" He cried, hands raised in the air.

Rhino stared at the scene with a look of shock on their face for different reasons. Rhino was shocked simply because his enemy had disposed of his goons so quickly. He had expected it to take twice that long! From beside the villain, Naruto called "Hey Wade! Can I take this guy? You already got all the others!"

"Go nuts kid." Was the response. "He's a lowbie. Good way to pop your villain cherry so to speak."

Despite his montage-induced crash course in the English language Naruto was by no means an expert on the words, let alone the sayings. "He'll... burst my fruit?" He translated.

"Well, you see," Deadpool started before he was interrupted by a long roar of anger.

"I'm tired of this!" Rhino screamed. "I'm sick and tired of you two going off on tangents, ignoring me! Who's here, trying to kill you?! ME! Who used a shitload of time and money to plot this thing out?! ME! So screw your explanations! Screw your questions! And especially, screw, no, fuck your motherfucking jokes!" With a growl of pure rage, Rhino charged, his horn pointed directly at Naruto.

Deadpool looked over at his orange clad friend. "I'll tell you later." he whispered.

As Deadpool's words left his mouth, Naruto was already in motion. He ducked and rolled to the side allowing Rhino to pass through the area he'd just been in. Rhino turned and snorted, more like a bull then a rhino. He charged again, but this time Naruto had a different tactic ready. He jumped out of the way and stuck his leg out as Rhino ran by, letting the behemoth trip and fall.

That plan had had its drawbacks though. Naruto stopped and began cursing, both in his native language and with some of the inventive curses Deadpool had taught him. As he rained curses down he felt his leg for an injury. Sure enough there was a messy break, right in the center of his ankle. Naruto stopped focusing on the pain long enough to dodge again.

As he landed heavily on his broken and healing leg, Naruto managed to suppress a grunt of pain. 'Okay. Don't try to trip the Rhino.' Instead he reached down into his kunai holster and grabbed one of the well-worn knives. An instant later and the blade was hurtling towards his foe.

... where it bounced off his back. "Damn!" Naruto yelled, out loud this time. "I knew I needed to sharpen that more." Rhino turned around and glared at Naruto. But even as Naruto watched the glare melted into what looked like a pitying look.

Something inside Naruto snapped. 'He's pitying me? The giant moron in the fucking Rhino armor is pitying me?' He cracked his neck from side to side before forming his hands in a cross seal. "Screw doing this hand to hand!" he yelled. As his words vanished into the air they were replaced by what felt seemed like a giant wall of smoke.

When it cleared, thousands of Naruto's were glaring at the Rhino.

From the sidelines Deadpool let out a little groan. "Awwww." he said. "That's a main character power! Where am I gonna get a sidekick now?"

The clones let out a battle cry and charged straight into battle. The Rhino allowed the brief pity he'd felt to dissipate before bellowing out a roar of his own, meeting the charge head on. He charged straight through the clones, his near unstoppable strength easily overpowering the clones, which dissipated after one hit leaving a plume of smoke behind.

Smoke... which was now in Rhino's eyes. The man-beast stopped, and began blinking rapidly while rubbing his eyes. Naruto's eyes lit up and the original charged at the Rhino. As he ran, he began focusing his chakra inside his body, just like Kakashi and Jiraya had beaten into his head. Rhino had no idea what was going on until he felt Naruto grab his horn with his suddenly enhanced strength.

"Wha-" was all he got out before Naruto pulled his head down onto his equally reinforced knee. There was a sick crunch before Rhino fell back, dazed with a bleeding nose. A strong, chakra-enhanced right hook took the villain out of consciousness and straight into la-la land.

Naruto didn't have time to digest the fact that his foe was out cold before Deadpool was beside him. "See?" The merc asked. "Wasn't that fun?" The ninja rubbed his ankle, checking to make sure his healing had taken care of the break.

The pain that shot up his leg when he touched it was a clue that it hadn't.

"Come on." Deadpool said, draping Naruto's arm around his shoulder. "I'll help you get to some friends of mine. By then, you should be in tip top shape." The merc made a little clucking sound with his tongue. "Getting hurt against the Rhino. Seriously, I thought you were better than that."

Naruto managed to grunt out "It should have healed by now."

The crazed mercenary ignored Naruto's words as they started to move towards a nearby office building. "Hey, by the way, where'd you get the idea to knee him in the face? Most people would have tried to punch or kick him."

"Ummm.."

_"Ne, sensei? Why do the girls knee your junk when they're kicking the crap out of you?"_

_"You see, Naruto." Jiraiya began. "The knee is the hardest part of a body. It's much easier to use offensively then the fists or feet, and you can throw knees harder and faster than you can punches or kicks! That's why it's the only part of the body that's safe to bear against my rock hard manhood! It might break hands or feet, but the knee can come away unscathed! Barely!"_

_Naruto paused before shaking his head rapidly, trying to clear it of any memory of Jiraiya talking about his rock hard manhood._

"My teacher told me." Naruto answered hastily before he had a chance to dwell on Jiraiya talking about his reproductive organs.

Naruto and Deadpool staggered inside the office building just in time to miss Dr. Strange enter the building where Weasel was still messing around with the portal.


	3. ZOMG! THE PLOT!

A/N: Well, here's the much anticiapted third chapter of Stabby. This chapter is also the end of the introductory arc, so I can now get to some of the stuff I've had floating in my head since I came up with this fic.

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

*Ding*

"Oh for god's sake.." a well proportioned brunette groaned as she ran down stairs towards the front desk. "I just got started my lunch break, and NOW someone shows up." She plastered her best fake smile on her face as she walked out of the stairwell and into plain sight. "Welcome to Agency X, the best place for mercs and-" she stopped short as she laid eyes on exactly who had staggered into their lobby. "Mr. Wilson!" she squealed, launching herself at Deadpool.

She was so busy hugging Deadpool that she didn't notice that she had dislodged the man in orange who had been leaning on him. "Um... Sandi?" Deadpool started. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but you kinda just knocked over my new buddy."

Naruto looked up at the two from the floor. "Don't mind me." he said. "My ankle's just about done." The blonde got to his feet, tentatively putting weight on his injured ankle. "Yep." Naruto said with a smile. "All done!" He extended his hand towards the woman clinging to Deadpool. "Hi, I'm Naruto!"

"Do ya like him?" Wade chimed in. "I broke the laws of space-time to get him here!"

The woman dislodged herself from Deadpool and shook the offered hand automatically. "It's a pleasure. I'm Sandi and... wait, what?!" Sandi released Naruto's hand before spinning on the red-clad mercenary. "What have I told you about ripping apart dimensional barriers and screwing around with space-time?!"

Deadpool sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Do we like it?"

"NO!"

"Does he do that a lot?" Naruto asked.

"No, this is the first time." Sandi replied. Seeing that Naruto was about to ask another question, she headed him off. "And, yes, I routinely give him guidelines for completely random things. I figure that with all the stuff he gets into, eventually one of them will be important."

"Hm." Naruto said. "That kind makes sense."

"There's just soooo many things to follow on that list!" Deadpool wailed. "Don't try to stake vampires with pickles, don't wear green on Thursdays, don't mess with the dimensional barriers! If I followed everything on that list, I'd never get to do anything fun!" He continued on, and Sandi looked at him with one raised eyebrow.

"That's odd." she remarked. "He's usually done by now. Even he has to breathe."

"Well EXCUSE ME!" he practically roared. "It's not like it's my fault that my screen time is getting drastically cut! Until now, I've been one of the main players, a headliner, a draw, but noooo, the ass writing this sad excuse for a story wants to reduce my presence! I'm gonna just be part of a supporting cast, and it's all your fault!" Deadpool finished his rambling by leveling a finger straight at Naruto.

The ninja looked from Deadpool to Sandi, a bemused look on his face. "Did you understand any of that?" he asked.

"Not at all." she said with a shrug. "But that's just Mr. Wilson's way. Sometimes he just randomly goes off like that. It's part of his charm." Even as she spoke, Deadpool seemed to be winding himself up for another tangent.

"And what do you do when he doesn't stop?" Naruto asked hurriedly, before Deadpool could get rolling again.

Sandi began rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Well, usually we call the gang together, crack open a bottle or two of whatever is alcoholic and handy, and then play cards." She nodded to herself. "So let's go get started! I'll introduce you to everyone, and you can tell us what you did before Mr. Wilson dragged you across dimensions."

"Awesome!"

***

Ten minutes later, Naruto was seated at a round table holding cards and a half empty beer. Around the table were seated a collection of people that would damn strange by normal standards. So to Naruto, of course, they looked about average. Understated if anything.

First, right next to Naruto, was Wade. He definitely looked odd, especially now that he had pulled his mask up so he could drink his alcoholic beverage of choice. Naruto could make out enough of his friend's chin to know that the rest of his face had to be truly sickening. The blonde wanted to know what caused it, but, well, he discovered that he had the tact not to ask at such a nice social gathering.

Moving on to much more pleasing sights, next to Wade was a short blonde wearing a skimpy yellow outfit and some weird hat on her head, which Wade had told Naruto was called a cowboy hat. Naruto's mercenary friend had been kind enough to write down a list who's who, which Naruto consulted to find out that the pretty girl was named Outlaw comma The.

Naruto looked back up from the list to see Outlaw looking back at him. She smirked and took a deep breath, pushing her rather nice breasts out at him as if she was presenting them for his inspection. "Like what you see?" she asked, her accented voice lowered into a near purr.

Instead of being embarrassed, Naruto leaned back in his chair and put his arms behind his head. "Not bad." he said conversationally. He knew her type. After all, he frequently spent time with Tsunade, who took great joy out of teasing, then punching, Jiraya in the face. The only time he'd ever seen his mentor not get hurt was by feigning indifference. From the look on her face, Outlaw had either expected him to leer further at her or turn into a blushing, stammering wreck. She also seemed to take the fact that he was doing neither as a personal challenge.

Outlaw opened her mouth, but both she and Naruto were distracted from their little game by a scream from the man on the other side of her. "You think you've got it bad Wilson?! I didn't even get an introductory scene! I was brought in during a scene break! A GODDAMN SCENE BREAK!" The new speaker yelled. Naruto took this opportunity to break his gaze away from Outlaw to look over the new guy.

Naruto hadn't gotten much of a look at the only other non-Deadpool man in the room before. Well, he had, but his eyes had immediately wandered over to the much more appealing Outlaw. Now that his full attention was focused on the other man, Naruto could barely keep his jaw from dropping.

Scars. That was the first thing that Naruto's eyes landed on when he looked at the other man at the table, and he didn't get much further. According to Wade's little cheat sheet, this was Alex Hayden, Codenamed Agent X, and Naruto could easily see why. His head, and maybe more, was festooned with cruel X shaped scars which had to have hurt terribly. They were easily worse than any Scars Naruto had ever seen before, and that included Ibiki.

When Naruto managed to look at something other than the scars on Agent X, he managed to take in some other details, including the green wraparound sunglasses that the man wore. The rest of his outfit was pretty normal, with it just being a black muscle shirt and dark pants topped off with a long brown trench coat.

The tact Naruto had previously managed to grasp at deserted him as quickly as it had come when he looked back over Agent X's scars. "What the hell happened to you?!" he blurted out before he could stop himself.

All the screaming stopped as Deadpool and Agent X both turned to face Naruto. Rather than being angry like Naruto thought he would, Agent X broke out into a hysterical cackle. He pointed at Deadpool, and while he laughed, he choked out "HA! Told you he'd ask about me first!" Deadpool groaned before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a crumpled up bill. He slapped it into Agent X's hand, then spun to face Naruto.

"TRAITOR!" he yelled. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO ASK ABOUT MY CRIPPLING PROBLEM FIRST!"

"Wha?" was all Naruto could get out. Deadpool began another rant before Sandi, the last person sitting at the poker table, laid a hand on Naruto's arm in a comforting gesture.

"Don't worry about it." she said. "They make bets on random stuff all the time. Then they forget about everything that just happened." True to Sandi's words, Outlaw had just thrown a coin in-between the two scared mercenaries. Deadpool's rant had stopped, as he and Agent X began fighting over 'The Paragon of Shineyness on the floor'.

"So I guess he's not going to answer me." Naruto mused. He turned away from the scene back to Sandi. "What's his story anyway?"

"Alex? Oh, it's really weird, even for people who usually spend time with Mr. Wilson." She took a deep breath, racking her brain for all the details. "Well, he's kind of a clone of Mr. Wilson's, made up for the brain of him, a super villain, and the super villain's friend, all in the body of that super villain's friend. The scars are from being thrown into a superheated grate. And uh... that's about it."

Naruto stared at her blankly for a moment before shaking his head. "Well, that seems perfectly logical." he muttered sarcastically.

Outlaw broke into the conversation. "Those two ain't gonna be done any time soon." she drawled. "Wanna look at their cards?" At the answering shrug from Naruto and the slight nod from Sandi, she reached over and check the cards that the two mercs had helpfully laid down before starting their brawl. "Deadpool's got nothing, and Alex has a pair of twos."

"I always forget." Sandi asked. "Are we playing Deuces Wild?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nope, I think we're doing Aces Wild. Which is convenient, because I've got two of them and a pair of queens. Four of a kind, read em and weep." he said. The ladies groaned, but Outlaw looked at his hand suspiciously.

"Seems mighty convenient that you're the only one who remembers what's wild, and you just so happen to have two of em." she drawled.

"How's that my fault?" came Naruto's immediate protest.

Outlaw shrugged. "You got a point, I guess. But I've got my eye on you."

"So!" Naruto said, rubbing his hands together in a manner far more like one of his teachers. "What do I win?"

Outlaw smirked. "Usually we play strip rules, but I don't think we agreed to that beforehand so my girls stay hidden." Deadpool and Agent X both groaned, though they continued to fight. Naruto managed to catalogue his own disappointed expression with a shrug. "So I guess you win-"

Before they got any further, there was a loud knock on the door. Sandi popped out of her chair and ran down the stairs to get it. She was back moments later, looking a bit shaken. Behind her was-

"Doctor Strange!" Outlaw gasped.

"HOLY SHIT!" Deadpool screamed.

"THE PLOT!" Agent X finished.

Doctor Strange looked at the odd tableau, his gaze going from the two mercenaries on the ground to the two girls, and finally setting on Naruto. He took in a deep breath then turned to Sandi once again. "I don't suppose you have a spare seat?"

***

Once Doctor Strange was seated in a comfortable chair, he leaned back into it and looked over the room once again. Finally, his eyes settled on Deadpool. "Wade Wilson," he said, exasperation thick in his voice. "When you asked to borrow some of my least powerful crystals, I did not think that you would be able to do anything with them. After all, they only were meant to contain miniscule amounts of power, merely enough for some of the less powerful cantrips."

His voice hardened, though it kept the same wry tone. "I did not, however, expect you to breach the dimensional boundaries. Nor did I think you would bring forth one of the most dangerous beings in the world."

"Hey!" Naruto protested immediately. "I'm not that dangerous! And besides, I'm leaving as soon as Wade's friend can figure out how to send me home!"

Doctor Strange made a pacifying gesture, and Naruto, despite not having any idea who the fruitcake in the robe was, immediately quieted down. The bearded man just had that kind of presence that made you want to do what he said.

"I am not referring to you, young one. Rather, the one you contain within you." He said, pointing straight at Naruto's stomach. "I know not what that arcane energy is, but it's malevolence has rarely been matched in this world or any other! It took a great genius to forge whatever bonds keep it imprisoned within your soul."

The Sorcerer Supreme sighed. "Rather, those bonds _used_ to keep it imprisoned. I suspect that whatever means Wade Wilson used interacted with my crystals, freeing the darkness from its chains."

Naruto was the only one who understood exactly what that meant, but the others all knew that it was somehow bad news. Outlaw was the first one to respond. "Ha!" she cried. "I knew you cheated!" Naruto snapped out of his stupor and spun towards her.

"How does having a demonic fox in my stomach mean I cheated at cards?!" was his incredulous response.

A shrug was Outlaw's comeback. "Why not? You're the only one here with powers besides healing! Who's to say you couldn't use them for cheating?" Before Naruto could continue the argument any further, Doctor Strange cleared his throat again, drawing their attention.

"As I was saying," He continued in a mildly reproving tone. "I can only suppose, for the moment, why exactly the beast living in you has not manifested. If I may..." Doctor Strange trailed off, gesturing vaguely at Naruto.

"Umm... okay." Naruto said before turning to Sandi. "Umm, I don't mean to be rude, but who the hell is this guy?"

"Oh, yeah. You wouldn't know him." the secretary replied. "Doctor Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme. That means he's the best at all things supernatural around, at least in this world. Totally trustworthy when it comes to this kinda thing." Naruto nodded in thanks before turning back to Doctor Strange.

"Alright. You want to see the seal, right?" Naruto asked. The Doctor nodded impatiently, and Naruto pulled up his shirt. Everyone stared at his torso, nonplussed. After all, there was nothing there but his admittedly well-honed body. Outlaw let out a wolf whistle.

"Nice, kid. But I thought Doc wanted to see some sorta seal?"

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there." came the response. Naruto molded his fingers into a hand-seal and began to channel chakra. As the chakra began to concentrate around his body, a blue haze shimmered into existence. In the semi-eerie light of the aura, the familiar (to Naruto) circular form of the seal warped into being on his stomach. Doctor Strange knelt in front of Naruto, staring directly at the markings while rubbing his beard in thought.

"Damn it." Wade muttered. Alex nodded.

"Yeah, I was hoping for some kinda clerical error too. But, nope, kid's got an aura, that makes him the main character. It says so in the rule book."

"I just hope he doesn't start asking for the planet and all its inhabitants to give him energy."

The mutterings of the two scarred mercenaries was interrupted again as Doctor Strange barked a word of power, bringing a thick tome into existence hovering near his head. Everyone looked on, fascinated as he made the sounds that all doctors seemed to make, the hmming and the ahhhing and all that. "I see..." Doctor Strange mused, absently snapping his fingers to send the book back where it came from.

He stood up, gesturing for Naruto to lower his shirt which he hastily did. "Well, that answers that. It appears that not all of the creature escaped. The mystic seal on your abdomen holds strong, restraining what looks to be the majority of the beasts power! Quite fascinating work! I would love to study this in more detail at a later date."

"But you said that you would be leaving as soon as possible?"

Naruto nodded. "It's not that I don't like your universe or anything, it's just that there's a bunch of stuff I have to do at home."

The doctor nodded. "You can certainly attempt to go home. I wouldn't dream of keeping you here against your will, despite the fact that you know this creature that Wade Wilson has released upon our world better than anyone. But I would still caution you not to attempt to leave this dimension until the being is dealt with."

Naruto's hackles started to rise. "Is that a threat, cloaky?" he growled.

Doctor Strange waved his hands pacifying in front of him, trying desperately to calm Naruto before he got angry beyond reason. "No, not at all, and I offer my most humble apologies if you thought otherwise. I merely council caution. After all, this being is still partially entombed within you. The ramifications of you attempting to leave, but at the same time having an anchor here, could be catastrophic both for you and for our world as a whole."

At every word, Naruto deflated more and more. He had really been looking forward to finally getting together with Sakura, and even those two weirdoes that Tsunade has assigned them, and going out to look for Sasuke. But if he did...

Behind him, Deadpool and Agent X traded a high five. "YES!" Deadpool hissed. "We haven't tried to stop the end of the world in years!"

Naruto squared his shoulders. "Alright. I'll stick around, just until the Kyuubi is dealt with. But right after that, I'm heading home. Since you seem to have all the answers, Doctor, what would you suggest I do to track it down? And how should I fight it anyway?"

"How to fight it? This demon seems to be different then the run of the mill demonic entity, so I have few ideas. I do, however, have an idea of how to start. We shall schedule a time, and I shall study that sigil. It should give us a good idea of how to combat the creature."

"As for what to do to track it down, you should-"

"Stick with us!" Deadpool yelled, draping his arm over Naruto's shoulders companionably. "As the forerunners in the mercenary field, no one has more experience tracking down and hunting just about anything! And we're fun!"

Naruto shrugged and sighed. "It seems as good a plan as any."

Agent X let out a cry of relief. "Sweet! I've been needing a new hand here anyway since Tasky decided this place was beneath him! So, welcome to Agency X! Let's show you to the armory!" With that, the two mercs grabbed Naruto by either arm and pulled him out of the room.

"Nice to meet you Doctor!" Naruto called behind him.

Doctor Strange stared after him, a bit bemused. "An odd young man." he mused out loud. "Serious and bloodthirsty when he feels it is called for, yet light-hearted and smiling most of the time." Doctor Strange turned to Sandi. "I do not beleive I got his name, Ms. Brandenburg. Could you enlighten me?"

Sandi nodded and smiled. "That was Naruto Uzumaki, Doctor Strange. We're still looking for a codename."

***

Kyuubi floated through the air, nothing more than a disembodied consciousness with a bit of energy perception. 'Damn that fourth Hokage!' it cursed mentally. 'That seal... it was risky, just getting my mind out of it! I barely managed to retrieve a mere two tails worth of power!'

If it could have, it would have let out a feral smile. 'But there is always more power to acquire. And this place, it's practically oozing dark powers that I can consume.' The spirit 'sniffed' the air, tasting the various flows of energy that floated throughout the air.

'This one reeks of death and sorrow... delectable.' It thought. 'I haven't done this in a while, but let's see if I can...' The spirit followed the trail of darkness that was floating through the air, eventually finding one human as the source of it. It didn't waste any time before it 'dove' into the person, gently inserting it's mind into the target's subconscious, where it could observe and influence the man.

Frank Castle frowned as a chill passed over him. "Odd." he grunted before shrugging it off and taking aim at another mobster.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed that. Questions? Comments? Leave a review! It'll make my inner review whore happy!

Also, I'm looking for someone to bounce ideas off of. If you're up for it, send me PM, Email, Review, or some other form of message. Cheers!


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